Swinging

its me its me!

2006-07-14T12:51:00.000+08:00

wahahaa.. this will be my profile pict lah!

results

2006-06-18T01:57:00.000+08:00

pretty satisfactory.
since noone is gona visit this place anw
so here it goes

Accounting I - B+
Financial Management - B
Marketing - A-
Statistics - A-

hahaha! =D yay n im offered double spec. gonna give it a try but dunno what yet. LOL

half-sian-ed

2006-06-02T00:42:00.000+08:00

im half sian-ed. maybe its the post meeting syndrome. i cannot tell myself to be happy everytime after it. cos i dunno. i feel like as if i didnt do a gd job. if i think so, everybody will think so. whatever, i must stand by my beliefs and whatever i said.. yes. standing by. i should have a set of ideas that i really feel for. like my own ideas. somehow, though my ideas are heard.. sometimes its just HEARD. to be listened. i have to give in anyway.

sometimes, i wonder if im the a. cult i am. cos my cult and me don't work together. and im rly busy. and she is giving me the dont care attitude. i have to remind her to do things tt we're supposed to do. i give in to her ideas which she feels tt its inferior to mine. i don;t know if im supposed to feel this way.

why is it that it is so hard for me to return to the enthusiastic me? why are there always different obstacles for me to overcome. just like im trying to swim against the tide. instead of progessing, im slowly gg the wrong way. when i want to contribute and find back my passion to complete my term nicely, i find it really hard. sometimes the feeling is heartwarming, sometimes i feel that my existence isnt impt at all. so why is that im making that effort? maybe i shld hypnotise myself more. tell myself i can do it and that everybody welcomes me and will help me and will consider (not only to listen) my ideas.

ok, should always refresh myself and start with a good attitude. above are just grumblings, pls DO NOT judge me by what i said. hail hypocrites!

i love my class! aj0903

2006-05-22T03:07:00.000+08:00

they are forever remembered!!

hmm..

2006-05-09T02:16:00.000+08:00

What Is Your Need

Death, all you want is to be dead, nothing more. That is all you think about. You desire death, you crave it. You want to be dead, no matter what it takes
Take this quiz!

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bored

2006-04-25T02:23:00.000+08:00

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

hmm. im sad. cos of cos of cos of.. what do you think?

sick sick sick!

2006-04-15T20:12:00.000+08:00

this is ripped from lindy's page.. i'm really awed. n disgusted.

*whines

2006-04-15T18:47:00.000+08:00

--- this is a repost from my spaces ----

i'm here again whining. i can't seem to stop whining.. cos i simply CAN'T GET TO STUDY. it took me one day to semicomplete an expanded tutorial. omfg,hw inefficient.i cant CALM DOWN.. and i need to calm down..someone let me whine to you can? *cry cry..

sigh i nv learn, always ended up panicky and unprepared..if i cant calm down i can possibly study..yesterday i did some quality studying tho..i duno what is happeninG to me..being so unrepentful..my positive hyped up energy of just 1 hr ago is replaced by s.t.r.e.s.s.. its overwhelming me.i wana cling on sth..yet im reluctant..ahhh!! shuxin wake up stop whining n pls calm down.fuck.omfg..i wan to whine whine whine whine whine whine whine. i know its my 3rd entry today.but i cant seem to study efficiently.kns..hurhur..sobssobs.kangwei!!pls pickup my phone..im still at seminar 5 for fm n i aint have time to study foR it lah. fuck fuck fuck. ah.feel like fuckin' everything la.craps..

ah someone offer me sweets, hugs, icecreams, kisses, chocs, bananas, fries, coke, cherries, oranges, sinful stuffs. cheese prata.. AHHHHH!!!!!!!! FUCK!

yay! kang's calling me in awhile, she's in gd fri's service. i know i shld be singing praises of Him reading e bible n such but well......ahhhh.i've sinned..so much against my weak will n poor soul..i shall start calling people one by one to whine..

The Best Thing in the World

2006-04-13T23:46:00.000+08:00

WHAT'S the best thing in the world?
June-rose, by May-dew impearled;
Sweet south-wind, that means no rain;
Truth, not cruel to a friend;
Pleasure, not in haste to end;
Beauty, not self-decked and curled
Till its pride is over-plain;
Love, when, so, you're loved again.
What's the best thing in the world?
--Something out of it, I think.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

im just being bored.. gues i shld go bury myself in some text book or something!!

new blogskin

2006-04-13T17:54:00.000+08:00

new blogskin. tho it is really simple but i did put in effort kays! wait till i get sick of this.. (: exams round the corner yet im reviving this blog..hmm. felt sense of accomplishment. i still love blogger for now since they give me more privacy.. sometimes comments are meant to giv u some really good shock. so i aint giving any tagboard here.not as if anyone would come and visit here and tag me right?

i admit i really have limited html skills and this is the best i think i can do without screwing up big time. and damn you, i don't know how to upload pictures on blogger. serious. don't let me catch u laughing. there isnt a single error as far as im concern so im happy about it. (:

my life's pretty messy but oh-well, it goes on..approaching 3 am le.. sighh. i wonder should i ever publish the fact tt i revived this blog or somewhat? cos i may have alot of subtle things to comment about myself. haha. oh well. i miss.........

trying to upload photos.

2006-04-13T03:16:00.000+08:00

AMAZING! this blog idiot successfully uploaded photos to blogger. AWED! anw. this is an candid pict of the entre people! love em!! =D

woohoo~

2005-10-27T06:18:00.000+08:00

i officially declare that this blog is closed down!

haha, do not return here! just keeping it for sentimental value.. hehe

thanks everyone stil for dropping by!

random updates

2005-09-17T22:54:00.000+08:00

thursday: JCRC outing at JB
wow, so many ppl came!! it was rly fun!! e seniors also came, to shop
wahaha, altogether 15 i think 16 including yuchii
at first we shopped n shopped, guess e guys were rly bored
so we changed venue to Plaza Pelangi
tts when all the fun started
we all sang K! it was so cheap 12 sth per person RM leh
we sang n sang, was damn hilarious
they can rly sing man, DAMN COOL~ lets go back tgt okies!!
e girls rly buy alot of stuffs. hehe
n we got e mooncakes back!

friday: TCS session at nite 1-6am
ate e mooncakes bot from QP's canvassing, nice n nice! yumyum
den talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk
n talk talk talk talk talktalktalk talk talk talk
banner painting from 9 to 1pm
e banner is damn nice! ppl go comm hall n see. rly rly cool~
wenchuan demonstrated his artistic flair!!!
jcrc meeting for more than 4 hrs!
e meeting was vvvv long n fun also
but was damn tiring la at e end of it
damn stress also. rmb to remind me to carry out my duties!!!!!
oh man oh man
i must carry out my duties
eat! slp! den woke up at 6 am!! den slp at 8 to 12!! PIG

dun feel like blogging anymore, chatting, making my mood swinging v badly, n my ankle hurts for duno wad reason. not e one i fell onto.

life has been bad

2005-09-14T22:38:00.000+08:00

its a one week recess, however i am feeling d stress forever than not. i have been bloggin in my MSN spaces for long as its so much easier. i have been writing crap there. by i feel more crappy down here. squashed by so many things. saddened by so many craps. haiz, how i wish im back in spore in my friends' comfort. either its a facade or not, i feel better. how i wish... mmmm, its not tt life back in msia is bad, its just tt there are one or two elements outta the way n is making me miserable. but well, i shld study n be more productive shldnt i? haiz. i think after today i am gg to be intimidated by mooncakes. argh~

so broke

2005-09-09T18:22:00.000+08:00

ppl im so broke
pls pay me back ah, all the bdae celebrations. hehe yupp
tts all folks..

2005-09-05T15:28:00.000+08:00

i guess it wasnt a big deal after all.
chocs seemingly cheered up my day! thanks ms Faith for the chocs for AB114 n coffee! i hafta clean my rm soon.. its getting dirty.. gotta go down help paint banner.
i spent too much. shall stop.
i have got so many things to do but so little time
thanks to those friends who cared. i forgot i could count on u. but rly thanks to the talks on MSN i am cheered. at least i know i have made valuable friends who care when im in need. thank you!!!!!! muack. haha

it rly wasnt a big deal, move on!

randomness

2005-09-05T01:19:00.000+08:00

i duno y i am bloggin these despite tt im so not-feeling-well.

i need to talk to someone. however noone seems to suit this particular description of listener well. emm.. its troubling.. its mind-hogging..

i hadnt sleep for one whole day. feeling ultra depressed. y am i in e same situation again. haiz, getting away from situation A thinking of starting afresh n i end up in situation B which is similar to situation A. wad the hell~ y is God playing such a game on me. so fun. is it tt i am PMS-ing again. shits. great i feel so unappreciated by someone but somehow or rather i feel cheered when someone else actually expressed their appreciation of you out. am i just taking the other one as a substitute, or am i just also plainly impressed by him? haiz. y do i end up w conflicting emotions, conflicting feelings towards one. i shld think i have split personality haiz~

maybe i shld get away from all these crap and get hold of myself. let someone else's be in my life rather than being holed up w e old same grp of ppl. i swayed. i am not someone who hold true to her beliefs, pls look down upon me yah. i must admit that certain someones had said sth tt has made an impact in my thinking or rather mindset. such a strong word, my mind is set, however it is fragile in anchoring its situation. i am so affected by rumours. deeply affected. i shld think tt i am rly a normal n mundane person. i rly have low self confidence. cos i look on the floor when i walk. i avoid ppl's gazes cos i feel uncomfortable. yeah, i love my legs. i duno y.

maybe i shld remain who am i and continue to lead a painful life that i have led for the past 2 years. i thot i would be getting away from this whole shit but i ended up in another bigger pool of it. haiz. i hope i am mature enuf this time round to settle everything in a good-natured way. i hope my inner sinful feelings dont overcome the angel in me and lead me to wrongdoings. i may sound serious but i awfully regretted after i did somethings which cant be mended. right now i need God. humans are so cheap! they only finds God when they need a comfort zone, and now i am especially fragile. depending on any other souls are so untrustworthy. it is the circumstances tt made me so. i am not sorry for who i am today. but regretful. maybe the plain decision of coming to spore is wrong. i dont know, if not y shld i go thru such things?

my heart is tearing. its painful. oh God help me out of this situation. i miss whoever who was always there for me. i know i am not always there for u guys. but u guys were there, this time round i choose not to seek consolances in ur embraces, its time for me to grow up n face it myself, or rather w God. its a test of my faith in Him. maybe i shld go back to church soon. i miss the feeling of being safe n sound in His kingdom. nothing will harm me in tt way.

shopping

2005-09-03T19:23:00.000+08:00

shopping..shopping..
someone pls stop me!! i am spending wayyyyy too much. ok, enuf i shall stop online shopping again. Rach is a bad influence, she ignited my online shopping passion. hahaha. ops. paiseh
anw, alot of things to do ahhhhh
i was pms-ing yesterday so sorry ah friends!!! paiseh. but i cant help it, hope u guys understand
i stil pms, but happy cos i buy things today!!!
okay stop here...
missing everyone!!!!!!

e comex fair is crazy, dun go if u dun intend to buy stuffs k. cos it was flooded, cant even get in when i tried today. haiz. haha, dun go dun go, worse than NDP k. so many pple!!!!!!

slappssssss

2005-09-01T20:11:00.000+08:00

wad shuxin deserves is a tight slap, turn her around, punches, turn her upside down, few blows, and some serious kicks. so that her confidence can finally get into her n stop thinking lowly of herself. her ego vanished after As. shits. someone! knock some sense into her!!!!!! she is behaving weirdly, nv seen her like this before. hmmm. what happened.

give her some puunches, kicks, blows, knocks and bruise her la.

BAD

2005-08-31T15:55:00.000+08:00

em, had a bad day lah yesterday was mentally n physically exhausted after all e mugging for econs quiz plus rallying plus my menses. X( then today woke up feeling lethargic and sick den chiong out for lecture. CHINESE TRADITION N SOCIETY. y is it tt whenever we go he does not say anything tt makes sense. haiz, how am i gg to pass this?? shits. shldnt have taken this subj. he showed us a video on zhuangzi. initially it was nice n cosy so i watched. after tt it was pitched dark freezing n i wore my jacket n fell in to a deep deep slp/// haha ///zzzzz when i woke up it is 215 so i decided to leave early

den chiong to lib to print notes, i love laser printers! den i was intending to pay my hostel bill at OCBC was told to withdraw cash n e atm at north wasnt working!! made me q so long in OCBC.. den i walked to south thinking i could just do everything there. at south i paid my phone bills den q up for e atm, 1st tried to transfer $$ to chel but cant so i tried again den they rejected my card n says atm temp out of service!

i was damn zadao!!! den i realise i hafta hand in this piece of work TODAY from 1230 to 430 outside COmmunication Lab 7! n i forgot to bring it out. so i hafta walk back all de way take the PIECE of paper. one piece only leh and go back all the way to s4 to hand it in. thnk God its s4. hahaha

anw, i found ms faith outside the rm and handed it to her. tmr i still have to transfer $$ to chel n feng n withdraw money for OCBC. suck them lah. later still got forum hope my day wont be too sucky!!

my mbti test! accurate?

2005-08-29T10:57:00.000+08:00

today early morn i had OB - organisation behaviour tutorial. Thought i screw up my presentation tho the tutor was v encouraging. anw, i always enjoyed OB, cos i love participating in Talking Cock. haha. ok.

my result was ENTP
E for extrovert (29 pts)
N for intuition (13 pts)
T for thinking (5 pts)
P for perception (51 pts!!)
looks like im quite extreme.. okay shall give u an analysis on this. People with the ENTP character has characteristics like: Quick, ingenious, stimulating alert and outspoken. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems. Adept at generating conceptual possibilities and then analysing them strategically. Gd at reading other pple. BOred by routine, will seldom do e same thing e same way, apt to turn to a new interest after another. (memorised from MBTI analysis) Do u think this is true??

Give me comments ya. haha, cos i thot i more feeling kinda person but one of my friend thot otherwise. hmmm. i can try doing all kinds of jobs n im weird cos im e only in my class getting this combi. somehow my class got a lot of introverts but they are very noisy also. hahaha.

yepp, i love e eagle in my ppt presentation ^^
i love my banner too! aiyo, i forgot to take a picture of it, so proud!!

to pple who are in hall 5 and doesnt hate me pls vote for me this thursday as ur asst cultural sect yah!! love ya. muacks.

to zee

2005-08-28T12:51:00.000+08:00

hey zee, mind dropping me a tag when u visit?? i know u always visit my blog but u nv tag! oh man oh man. i always forgot to link u.. pls help me keep my taggie alive. im attempting to keep this blog alive too. haha

revivAL of my blog

2005-08-28T12:43:00.000+08:00

ehs, since when i have been neglecting my blog? hahaha
okays, i shall revive this.
bloody hungry now, but satisfied i found a reasonably simple layout.
but!!! i dunlike the face. awwww.. nvm la, shall bear w it la hur? but i simply love everything else this template offers.!! yippie, n im so so touched when yun tag me! so i shall keep my this blog alive for those who are unaware of my msn spaces. hahaha. okay. but i will not upload photos here cos i duno how to n it is simply a hassle. anw, pple go get google talk.! not bad la, but i still love msn more. haha, i wanted to get Yahoo! messenger too. but wont it be too much? hahaha
okay, shall stop here. tired n lazy liao.
ciaoz

2005-08-16T21:18:00.000+08:00

i cant believe myself. i sat on the bike today. haha, thanks james for the ride. cos HE was the one who suggested me daniel n shingy to go out for dinner. yumyum, nice ice kahchang!!

overall today quite happy. im finally not down w any IBG lah. i think its so nice.. finally to take a break n start to study. i shld study. in the meanwhile, i shall contemplate how i can turn anti-social. heh. yepp.

my hectic day

2005-08-15T00:31:00.001+08:00

hmm. i guess i feel like bloggin. maybe i shall continue here leh. weird feeling.

anw, u guys shld know my life better than i do cos karboon records it down in her blog. so i have an urge to blog also now..

tt day on fri, me n daniel n jeff n shingy n jialu plus ravern went for supper. before that we kena-ed by the seniors la. kena poured by all the JCRCs, haha. soaked. after the supper i had to pack for my AIESEC camp la. so i stayed up. jialu didnt help out. he promised b4 we went for supper. in e end, jeff n ravern came n help me out. haha, not like they rly helped.. but they gave me plastic bags n offered medication..

then jeff stayed n we talk cock. haha, we rly good at tc-ing leh. talktalktalktalktalk til morning den i dun intend to slp n i went for camp half aslp. i slpt thru e whole camp la. fun. i met vikram. hehe, he old usual self. well good old him to lean on since im so slpy.

den wewent off early, he got to organise sth the nxt day while i, gg for 09 BBQ! den we took cab w this random guy who offered to send us to bkt batok. n stupid slpy me too tired took red line instead of green so when i woke up halfway i found myself ONLY at Bishan. den nvm, reached bedok late.

took cab to F3. the uncle insist to go right n i insist on left. but he was driving. no matter. took me 7.30 cab fare. STOOPID. almost dieded after uncle alight me cos i need to walk in so far to pit 69. den ate had fun took pictures. guess i missed out much of the fun also la.

then we booked 3 cabs, chyi mm n lish to drop me off at some mrt. smart uncle suggested i alight at tanjong pager. =.= diaoz. cos by e time i reach tanah merah the last train to CHangi has went off 15 mins earlier. sadz. decided to ton there to wait for kay to send her off. so i share cabs w 3 ang mohs obviously. not bad, nice persons.

sat alone at Kopitiam n drank KOPI. waited n waited till jeffrey came. haha, then we went changi village to look at chiobus trans. i look at em i shy leh. so sexy.. haha, then we went to sit down n drink sth n got back to airport 3 sth. den we walk walk ard. then haowen came. then kay came, sent her off. so sad. nvm i shall see her SOON!? yeah. she will.

so thankful got jeffrey ard. if not i would have dieded in airport la. thanks guy! thankew~~
den he drove us back to bedok mrt n i slpt all the way back to boonlay. then slpt back to ntu n slpt again. haha.

den sarsito woke me up. haha. den i went out w shingy to queensway met daniel n jeffrey there too. ikea n queensway shopping centre. so shagged. had my mushroom swiss whopper. !

den back, chatted n haven start my tutorial! oh man oh man..

new moblog

2005-07-23T11:03:00.002+08:00

hey ppl!

new changes for da new year!!

okay, i have a new blog so pls visit it yeah. ----> here

why the name eva?! cos my yun loves it. so its pronounced as EEEEEEEvA. not ehhhva. hahahahaha. :) like the sexy eva longoria in desperate housewives.

anyway, deborah doesnt like my new name.. awwwww.

lastly! join moblog to chat w me!!!!!

disastrous move

2005-07-22T02:17:00.000+08:00

today i walked like never before lah

its hard to explain lah.. i took a nice bath, brush my teeth, wash my face n embark on a night out to zee's hall 12. i took a nice shuttle bus when i was the only passenger. however, all these didnt show a single things that i am gg to face later,.

i was happily onlining at zee's place. cos i was deprived la.. den karboon talk to me and i suddenly realised i left the kettle on!!! that was like huh?! so i decided to walk back to hall 5 to switch it off. den i walk across the whole ntu pass mountains and down switch it off...

its was stupid enough.. then we met this German guy on the way back! he asked us where got sell food la. den he say his friends say its outside campus. so i thot of a place. n we brought him to this place outside NTU, 7-11. so he said he be alright alone.

den we walk back. but the gate at the overhead bridge is closed at this time!!! so we had to climb over lahhhhhh!. n walk thru the whole of ntu again to hall 12. i almost dieded.

it was so scary la! got construction workers also la...

sianzz

2005-07-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

school is starting soon. and i am in hall 5 in ntu. kinda sian.. hahahhahahahhahah. rly lazy to type. will update soon la. got new phone already. ask me for my new number okies. or ask around our common friends. cos i have lost so many contacts.......... okla. stop crapping..

hehz

2005-07-06T23:42:00.000+08:00

story written by a crow who has standard 2 english

YA~YA~YA~YA~
i moan as the day approaches. the BIG day! i am finally going to the School of Ya-ing and feed-ing of the Birdie University. It is ranked 2nd in Singapore amongst all the birdie schools. I was worried i couldnt get a place there but fortunately, MaMa crow had prayed hard that i got my 1st choice at this Birdie University.

Before the fateful day, i had trainings from MaMa crow to strengthen my wings tho i scored distinction in flying for the EASY level in College. SHe thinks i need the strength to carry my stuffs into the hostels built in school. So i am leaving MaMa crow yet again! How i imagine my future nest to be. But i hate to make new friends! Sadly, MaMa crow and my fellow crowies all think i should give it a go-ahead.

After settling in and alot of hassle with help from PaPa crow. I went for all the medical tests and such. They tested me for the H5N1 bird flu virus, scared that i could pass it on and create a pandemic! oh no i wont, i am a healthy lil' bird well cared for! they they took an X-ray of my chest. i didnt have breasts, wonder why they check birds for breast cancer?! or isit pneumonia?

to be continued...
so sorry to stop halfway, i am suffering from low blood levels. heh.

list of things i dream of

2005-06-30T00:23:00.000+08:00

i want to waste my life away. was watching television just now. as usual.. saw the fates of old man 70 yrs old, leading a solitary life, his kin just left him there for four yrs alone after he was discharged from a hospital.

what is the pt of living? rather studying? u achieve nothing and ur kids cheat u of ur $$ and tts the end of the world, sth like that is happening in spore. i believe many worse cases can be seen elsewhere in this world.

our world is aging. can we knock some sense into these selfish pple that we need the elderlys. they are the valuables to society. i am not gg to rattle on but to write down sth i wish i could do before i am 21.

1) not go to school FOREVER.

2) dreams come true.

3) fly on a plane, its true i havent been on a plane. (hey you, dont laugh! i will hate u forever for that smirk on ur face.)

4) live in harry potter land.

5) hiking? i want it been there done that. oh hey, i wana experience all fields in obs too. never been one, all thks to a stupid ankle fracture.

6) diving? wana learn proficient swimming b4 i could do w that.

7) own a car myself. hafta sell my butt for it. ( ASSES for sale, big ass! value for money, leloong! anyone?)

8) be intellectual. (how on earth i can be intellectual w/o gg school? i know i sound ignorant. bks, magazines. do u know hw much a TIMES mag costs in retail? its 7sth. hey that is daylight robbery man! knowlegde < money?? )

9) seen everything and know everything so that i can get engaged in conversations and not feel lost. ( glutton me just wana be an expert in al fields. haiz. haiz. )

10) shag someone. (heh, maybe this is my wildest dream. someone does not pt to anyone specific k)

***** most impt pt: i wana be comfortable w myself, BE myself and proud of myself. confidence is the key to my dreams come true. :))

things i wana do

2005-06-24T21:39:00.000+08:00

things i wana do before i die....

1) have sex with fukuyama masaharu (tho of top priority, this is so impossible. i believe someone i know does look abit like him. X) )

2) get pregnant or at least have a 2 yr-old kid. (kids older than that are undesirable and they get outta hand easily )

3) meet leehom, linjunjie, and ALL cute guys in person. (i know this is my dream, yes i know)

4) have a wardrobe full of clothes and the $S1000 tube, bikinis tankinis etc. plus fully stocked with sexy lingerie. (hee, dream of all woman)

5) at least 800 pairs of shoes!

6) unlimited accessories. ( ahha, greedy me!)

7) meet Howard from EFAG and French Kiss with him. ( erm, dream on X3)

8) liposuction on my waist, hips and legs. - which eventually leads to a sexaayy body.

9) leave my hair long till at least my waist. (hahahah, likely)

10) learn how to make up and with all tops brands make up i like, esp the newest products. hohoho, and at least 300 bottles of perFUMe...

do u think that is possible.. emmm. oh man.

friendship

2005-06-15T21:47:00.000+08:00

i receive a sms, a chain sms that stirred my thoughts.

somehow, the most cruel thing on earth u could do to a friend is to walk away. it is not spiteful words, or evil conspiracies that hurt someone, but the meer fact that u walked away. to me, it is.

i have a feeling that my friends are walking away from me, one by one. i have by no means to stop them.

sometimes, u wanted to be back; yet u feel the awkwardness and detachedness to be back. so i chose and prefer not to be back, i hated awkward situations. somethings are just best kept in ur memories. i think.

desperate mood

2005-06-15T21:05:00.000+08:00

i am in a desperate mood. damn, tmr i think i am gg to deliver the sim to karboon, so sorry kaes, for causing so many troubles.

yep, i received many advices to use the international passport. but its too late, i used my restricted passport and my application to solar is approved. thank God. i hope this wont cause any trouble. my sis is using her student pass also but she has alrdy changed her passport. so i dont think there is gona be any problem. worst come to worst, i am gg to get my student pass changed. heehee... hope everything will be easier then. wakakakaka.

my matriculation package is still nowhere to be seen, am i being too grumpy? heard must send in sth by 20th June and i havent seen the envelope of the package. damn.

oh, for the past two days i saw two pp i knew on tv. first one was claire on SAY CHEEZ and the next is Gerry on YUAN LAI JUI SHI NI, walalalaaaa... okay i wiould say they look great on tv and tv doesnt enlarge ppl. wakaka. see, how much i like the tv. :) oh, tdy got superstar, heck laaaaa...

typing crap kinda make me happier. cos im kinda desperate for my package, i ve been so lost touch w everything on the whole wide world.

sick of filling in electronic forms

2005-06-14T15:53:00.000+08:00

talking about efficiency and convenience, i dont think electronic online forms guaranttee that. The fact that i have to apply for SOLAR system and my matriculation number online is driving me crazy. Cos before i can get my matric number, i have to answer numerous questions that are not on hand, and i dont think saving the webpage wil save my answers tho. which is sth i hate to do it. thot i am quits w forms after the university application. where on earth i know my dad's and mum's IC number when they are nt at hm. Hw do I know if i fill in my restricted passport number or international passport number when one expires in nov 2006 and the other end of this yr? and that msia no longer accepts restricted passport from dont know when. being away from msia for so long, i nv know all the exact dates of all these, i mean i am just to lazy to keep up w the info and none will tell me when does my restricted passport cease its functionality.

this is so irritating.

furthurmore, i wonder if my webcam is working or not, tried installing it and resulted me in some kind of shit. DAMN, im such a idiot.

damn, i am stop gg to fill in my forms now, but when i can exactly fill it in? at night is so distracting, im either in front of the tv or online talking to many people which draws my attention away from all the stuffs.

yet i havent receive my matriculation package, NTU i want my matric package!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haiz.

yest was a shopping day i spent more than 200+++ on shopping, spent 7.60 alone on a cup of frozen YAMI yogurt, it is damn nice okay, hope the sale doesnt end soon, i see a couple of great deals down the road. hehe, esp at jusco.. i need more bottoms!!! so bottoms up people. !

plus, i think i m in desperate need for some form of exercise.

haiz

2005-06-11T23:04:00.000+08:00

AN EYE FOR A GUY 2

wakaka, check it our ya, i love denise, she is cute, i love howard, he rawks. but he is just so dreamy, could nv have someone like him to be my bf lahh. HE is ONE IN A MILLION~~~~~~~~~~

haiz. plenty to blog abt, i had a great day, fun time. had a bad wk tho. just to keep it short my life is stil mundane. but i love da tv. my greatese companion at all times..........

paranoia

2005-06-08T15:22:00.000+08:00

hmmmm, sick still sick v sick

well, i made a correct choice to come online now.
less pp to talk to so i can open my barrage of mails and read them carefully plus replying to them. thanks to my jumuis in Oldham, and gals from NYGBS, hahahaha, rly sweet to have a chance to have so many mails. so happy.
other than that, pp have been so used to keep in touch via MSN, well, its hard using it cos sometimes we fight to say stuffs and normally what we say online are just erm, something that we wana say at-the-time. aiya, cant convey my feelings gd enuf. t

the dragon boat festival is coming and i have been stuffed w rice dumplings and etc. plus indulging from chocholate from Hyatt and M&Ms and Mangoes. which do not help my sickness at all xcept to aggravate it. haiz its bad to have ur head banging against ur skin the whole day.

im struggling to type and think coherently but well.. im so energy-less. due to the freaking sickness. i passed it on to my sis and mom. ops. sorry..... and im glad that darling yun is back, miss her so much.........

life being unemployeed is great, been employed by my mom full time. hanging curtains and doing some hse work. im such a filial daughter... but ouch, muscle ache, so long nv exercise liao............ miss my sis.. she is away at st john camp. i helped her paint her flag okay! so nice! and sew the stupid flag together and fit it onto the stick. im sucha genius okay.. simply brilliant. :) sew till my hands wobbly liao la

enuf for crapping. byebye

sian

2005-06-04T23:58:00.000+08:00

sian ah, i am so sian. i want to go shopping yet i hate shopping so much. oxymoronic.

hate rich filthy bastards who flaut their riches, well, they got what they have by sucking their multimillionaire parents' butt. maybe they dont need to do that too, the amt they spent is just too little to be felt by theit parents.

damn. u saw what i mean right? i AM low on cash. wadeva.

i bet im PMS-ing in ultra low MOOD. hate it, y women suffer? dont get it. well, i have this angst in my heart that i couldnt get rid off. damn, cos i couldnt get to watch madagascar at 1010pm. damn, cos the freaking queue was too long n i get there at a freaking 1004. u think i could get tix? oh so no way. damn.

i hate it la, im facing alot of pressure. one day i might even die of HBP, i.e.high bld pressure w/o me knowing it. damn, ok words cant express what i feel but i just wana do this WHAT DA FUCK!

y am i always such a loser.

nah, which led me to this anti-social mood. i oh so hate to get dressed n go out. DAMNED. i shouldnt have quit. maybe gg out means $$.

LOSER

my choice

2005-06-03T15:42:00.000+08:00

finally this is my choice - 3/6/2005

i made the choice of my life. i decided what i am gg to be for the rest of my life.

which is that i am not gg to be an architect but an accountant, wish me luck.
n please, if u have any accounts, look for me in the future. i will gladly help w some fees. hehe, there is no free lunch in this world. aint it?

so i am gg to enjoy a scholarship, well under the tuition grant, its so unfair tt i have to take up the tuition grant for only 3 yrs n work under a spore registered company for 3 yrs. other pp took a 4 yr tuition grant, is there a discount anywhere?!

but thanks for all who gave me advice!! i love u guys yah!

clement ong

2005-06-02T15:25:00.000+08:00

do u 0903 peeps rmb clement ong? haha, our BIO teacher, somehow i agree w his theory about when u got tensed n after that relaxed, u get easily sick, haha, no longer than 2 days i quitted from my job, things have been happening.

1) missus seetshuxin here left her phone in office. isnt that brilliant, so she have to wake up early next morn to go back n get it n thus pangsehing one of her friends. which i am real sorry ziyih!

2) i am sick. haha, i have sore throat and fever and headache. all thanks to all the dapaoz and lunches outside. i have been feasting on chicken rice and malay cuisine, its hard not to fall sick. not to mention fried stuffs, titbits and no water. to people who know me esp hueychyi my ex-rmmate, i dont drink water unless i feel like im dying. which resulted in my over-heated body.

3) my mom n dad n sis stil thinks archi is better. but i dont knoe, i feel like taking accountancy. i wana go ntu. i dont know why.

4) i think i can earn money myself and learn to be more independant there, xcept that chyi is gg to be at nus, well bt other pp, like most of my oldham friends xcept ynay is gg to ntu. its not abt friends but myself la k... i dont want anyone to be responsible for my decision.

i think that is all, forgive me for all the crapping. :)

streamyx rules

2005-06-01T17:20:00.000+08:00

heyhey people, streamyx rules~~~~~

oh man, i am dancing in the streamyx rain.. i hereby announced i have got broadband! tho there is some prob gg to get it. my phone is just too far away from the computer....

NUS and NTU sent me emails reminding me the deadline of acceptance. my mom thought i shld think thru it again. oh man, i am so bored.. its so fast i have no where to go.. shld stop here. bebye

yay!

2005-05-31T15:33:00.000+08:00

the NTU ASEAN undergrad has offered me a scholarship!!! oh man.

i hav been waiting for this piece of news for so so long. checking mails at every 10 mins intervals. im so lucky!!

siannn

2005-05-30T15:31:00.000+08:00

tmr i quit liao, i haven got ard time to check out on the cars, anyway, there is a new MYVI that is quite nice and comes in apple green!!!!!! i think cars that are apple green are nice but i want a MANUAL cars, i think its bloody cool to drive manual rather than like auto. heard driving auto cars like playing with toy like that. whaaha, then i will look like a pro. like those racer! i cant wait for the jay chou racing movie. then i can imitate him. well if i can find that freak car! wahahaha.

damn, NTU ASEAN haven gimme a reply yet. c'mon just give it to me and i wil make up my mind liao, didnt you want me? haiz. NUS is really losing its appeal as ynay said. wahaha, that comforts me a little if im not gg NUS.. erms... unless i wana do med, pharmacy, law, archi if not its not worth it to go NUS? sth i heard la.. hehe, then tt day i went NUS i also din rly like the pp there. all v dao de......

damned

2005-05-28T14:49:00.000+08:00

DAMNED, i accidently clicked published n all that i have typed is lost.

archi?? accoutancy??

this is torture okay. i haven have a clue yet to what i want to do. anw, thks to all who have beem taggin me and giving me ALL forms of advice and help! thks dearies.

i had an NTU ASEAN interview at NTU this fateful fri. it went well, i spend ard 40 minutes debating on the prospects on architecture and if i would like architecture. wonder if they are impressed or not. i rly rly hope i would take the scholarship and lessen the burden on my parents, who knows if my younger sisters perform even badly? wellwell, they are nice n kept on asking me to "press the button" (i.e. the acceptance button, i was blurred when they asked me so.. ) but i distinctly heard a faint "welcome to NTU" by the guy on my right hand side so does that mean that i stand a chance? oh wells..

actually i am kinda scared n unwilling to take up the challenges posed by the architectuarial courses. and most of all, the prospects is NOT GOOD! what will i be in the future if i couldnt do my masters? drawing pp on orchard for a piece at S$10? well, i dont have that courage i think.

i still have up to 6th to decide but erms.

one piece of gd news! im gg to quit nxt tues!

another one! mom is buying me a car. a kancil would satisfy me! i may even get a chance to drive in spore! oh wells ;) *beams* but e car would probably accompany my sis up KL, so i would hafta drive as much as i could before it leave me. emmm.

i got a whole lot to say but i guess i will blog abt it later, its such a long post le.. thks for reading! wahaha

sch fees

2005-05-25T15:30:00.000+08:00

impt thg to note abt sch fees!

http://www.nus.edu.sg/oam/assist/monthly.htm

http://www.nus.edu.sg/registrar/info/financialaid/loans.htm

http://www.nus.edu.sg/registrar/undergraduate/fees.htm

http://sam11.moe.gov.sg/tass/menu/faq.doc****impt**

oh man, their websites are so not updated. time is running out. how do i send sth to nus when i haven receive their package yet? oh man, i am so gg to NUS. i dont know. oh damn. thanks Meimei, i couldnt tag you but hey, no one wil be there for me at archi. oh man...

hehe.. driving test

2005-05-24T13:25:00.000+08:00

i passed my driving test. n yuck i hate KFC.

personal preferences.

wkend.. randomness

2005-05-23T21:34:00.000+08:00

oh sucks.. should i go ntu or nus?

dilemma.. ARCHITECTURE or ACCOUNTANCY

sian-ed both courses sounds hard enuff for me. and i am having driving test tmr.. wish me gdluck yea.

this wkend is torturous lah, sat work halfday, aftnn go fetch sister from larkin terminal cos she back from KL and caught a 3 hr slp in e evening. dinner was kewl.. hehe. a v v nice meal!!!

sun woke up late cos of certain reasons, well, i woke up earlier before den met up w e ny gang again at city square, tried so many levi's jeans but none up to my standard. den go padini, fos, blahblah, its so crowded w pp. people mountain people sea ahh. so many sporeans also. i got so freaked out and sian-ed so no shopping. sat down eat drink den DANCE! its so cool~~ hehe.. well, i think i aint that great at dancing too..
den aft tt i went plaza pelangi and i met cyndi wang xin ling lahh. okay, i hate her, cos of her i missed my mom who was supposed to fetch me man. shit her la, and her attitude sucks. pls no acting cute, hate pp who acts cute.

today, woke up at 7 to wait for uncle he arrives at 9!! bldy late. den learn learn learn driving till i dying. den go hm haf lunch... rest abit den go out buy slpin bag for sis. den grandma and my aunt come visit. den hafta entertain lo. sent my sis to larkin to go back KL den brought my aunt and grandma to plaza pelangi. buy books for youngest sis and den go EAT! vvvv nice, its stones grill okay. bloody kewl. den sent grandma to larkin for her bus back and send aunt to msia customs. she is returning to spore! she works at HYATT okay! well, i asked her abt e banquet price alrdy, its only 5 per hr okay, she said its standard liao. so cheapo lo -___-"

den now here i am. watching desperate housewives later, forgot to catch it last wk. gona bathe too. sweating so much.

well, i think i am a highly irritating person who gets irritated easily too. hmm. things work both ways yea? blardy.

2005-05-19T11:32:00.000+08:00

You Are 50% Extrovert, 50% Introvert

You're a bit outgoing, a bit reserved
Like most people, you enjoy being social
But you also value the time you have alone
You have struck a good balance!

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

its a wonder that they can conclude sth abt u in a matter of a few clicks.

hopes dashed

2005-05-18T16:05:00.000+08:00

you know what?
my hopes are dashed
now the whole world is rejoicing
yet i am weeping
in my little own world.
haixx.
lend me a helping hand will ya?
life is so tormenting.
this is when i rly know
the harshness of reality.

who wants to grow up?
when we are young we sure do
makeups, high heels
but i don't want that ever more
just let me remain who i was
and i will be bountifully grateful
will you ever know what i think
what i feel?

you will never.
unless you ever experience a time
when your hopes are all dashed
and pp adding oil to the fire

how extravagant is it?
i cannot imagine.
i am the fallen queen...

qoutes....

2005-05-18T14:00:00.000+08:00

nice quotes that soothe my mind

"My son, give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let
them depart from your sight; keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are
life to those who find them and health to all their body." --Proverbs 4:20-22

...." For My
thoughts are not your thoughts neither are you ways My ways. As the
heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your
ways and My thoughts than your thoughts" ~ Isaiah 55:8,9~.....

Shylah

2005-05-18T09:09:00.000+08:00

SHYLAH

is this a nice name? go to see many other baby names.. wahaha, i wana adopt a baby gurl.
okay Shylah means: loyal to god, strong and the name is derived from Celtic. wahaha, okay i wan the name to myself...

y is God puttin me in such situation? If this is something He wants for me, I don't see the point. countless prayers went wasted. Does He love me? i know you guys out there will certainly say 'yes' but i feel nothing. okay. don't tell me how to be a good God's girl. to defy my parents? haiz.

i am crushed. haiz. no words can describe my situation now,

but in whatever situations, praying is still something that soothes me.

i duno what i am typing. sian ahhh. forgive me...

fuck

2005-05-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

i feel like slapping someone. *slaps*
stop irritating me
stop getting on my nerves
stop getting me jealous
stop all the fuck
okay!?!?!
i am dying
dying from all these
freaks!!!! just wana getaway
where? noone wans me
noone cares
noone ever gives a fuck
just some irritating behavior
so STOP
getting on my nerves!

damn

2005-05-16T14:12:00.000+08:00

i think i should stop online shopping. didnt know i am so covetous. shit man. i am bidding things i dunwan and at a stupid bid. stooopid. i am an idiotic buyer.. :( how ahh! escape bid ahh?

missus Jill Stuart

2005-05-16T10:25:00.000+08:00

missus Jill Stuart

hahaha, yesterday went out with yun, chun, yen and ynay. surprisingly, i am e one who is earliest, den yun came n she tapped nmy back from behind. when i turned, both of us got a shock!! cos we are wearing totally e same shirt!! omg!. after tt yen saw n laughed at us, she said she thinks ynay has e same shirt too.. haha, den miss ynay joined us late n she has e exact same shirt too!!! OMG!!! haha, we r like, FOS is so big den e blouse have so many colours n 3 of us bot e same one from e same shop and e same colour sommore but different times. -_-" but this doesnt happen once. just like when kay n yun n me bot our phones, i bot different time from em but we got consecutive numbers lohh. so qiao!!

after tt, e dance was alright, kinda weird, duno wad song they dance it to also. but next door they dancing mtv dance! Jolin's UpUP song,haha.den i haf a disastrous trip after e whole thingy ended. went n bot cake for dearie sis! happy bdae fang!! den hor, me mum n me haf some miscommunication so she didnt pick me up.. but i finally reached hm at 8. den celebrated fang's bdae, den hafta send feng, my other sis to spore. n there was this bldy JAM! i was like y the S plate pp love coming in so much? den cut queues, speed, throw rubbish, things they cant do in their country.. sian ah, den rich hm at 12 midnite.... X(

before tt hor, uncle pangseh me leh, supposed to reach at 8am, i waited till 9 then call him. he said he forgot to call me, he wanted to postpone it till late afternoon. sian ahhh. make me wake up so early, intended to watch movie ah,but sister having exams, cant go out n shit man. cant watch tv also. gona die liao......

life is just boring n nothing much gg on... all the jill stuart blouse!

annoyed

2005-05-13T22:49:00.000+08:00

rly annoyed by everything, if dad doesnt get streamyx then i think i will die ahh. internet sucks. taking so long time to load anything. n kept not receiving msges on MSN.fuck! yah, still not i a gd mood, plain pmsing lahhh. was watching beautiful illustrations. haha, love all the actors inside ah, regret din started watching earlier.

sian. tmr 8am meeting uncle, lets see what my situation will be then. seriously lack of sleep.... zzzzzzzzzzzzz....

i realised that i just having a grumpy personality. i guess i am just not gd at being friends. i pissed the whole world off. i feel so useless let kangwei to be so annoyed w me lo. cos she has never been like that to me. she is e one who used to take a lot of effort to maintain contact w me even when i am in msia. she dun bother abt e sms fees to msia. now, she is so annoyed that she is ignoring me la. well, i admit i am childish. cant afford to lose her. she is my bestest friend. tho we rly drifted apart cos i dun rly know wad is gg on in her life. n she doesnt know much abt mine too.. oh, i am so useless la, i am rly useless la. fuck........

sianz.zz..z. hope this get thru..... my internet sucksss. tmnet is lousy!!!

its fucking true!!

2005-05-13T12:44:00.000+08:00

THIS IS FUCKING TRUE!!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

24th November!! is it true?

2005-05-13T12:39:00.000+08:00

24th November!! is it true?

Your Birthdate: November 24

Born on the 24th, you have a greater capacity for responsibility and helping others than your may have realized.

You may also become the mediator and peacemaker in inharmonious situations.

Devoted to family, you tend to manage and protect.

This birth date adds to the emotional nature and perhaps to the sensitivities.

Affections are important to you; both the giving and the receiving.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

eventful day

2005-05-12T10:40:00.000+08:00

EVENTFUL DAY

yest was an eventful day, not only in office. i had qt abit of slp, aft tt i learnt driving for almost 1 and a half hr, my leg n hands r stiff after e ride. n chun have e cheek to laugh at me cos she was beside me in her pop's car when i was driving ok!!! anyway, uncle showed me route one for e exam but i couldnt rmb it, OMG! it was totally dark on e way hm also, i am so tensed up abt driving!!!!

after tt i attended a funeral, in PONTIAN, in e end got back like at 12 midnitez!!!!!!!! i was so shagged, my mom speeded all e way n missed e turn n we overshot la, den altho we found e place i duno anyone so sit there n see my mom socialising lo.. wad else. den we speeded all e way hm n kena caught be police, ROAD BLOCK. den they ask for DUIT KOPI!!!!! so we paid lo, 50 bucks in xchange for e hassle of paying it at the police office there 150 bucks. suayyyy.

yah, den b4 all these we walked to yun's hse to visit her during lunch. damn long journey but definitely had a fun time catching up plus all the crap w chun and yun. wahaha, hope can meet yen this Sun or wad. if i can go... )X

zii just told me she might get free tix to genting leehom concert!! OMG, i wana go, i realise everytime i go concert its free!! haha, genting v fun okay, can go sing karaoke summore!! v cheap, plus play pool yadayada.

learning driving agn on sat morn 8 am.. gawd.... yawnx..........

finally

2005-05-10T22:40:00.000+08:00

finally i get into this, my internet sucks, probably due to the place where e internet socket is, it got burned and yeah, resulted in v slow internet connections despite everythg. no wonder i wook 1/2 an hr to load a page in e past.

okay, i was rly in guilt and was self-pitying. i duno every little thing just got into my nerves, like deciding wad to have for dinner also just piss me out so much. i duno y i am like the piece of juicy beef in the Big Mac. FUCk, i just feel like scolding it, sth to vent all my frustrations.

i cant explain this, sth surreal and inexplainable. well, same old story, dun haf to repeat myself again. well, when i think of this more, i get into a more serious situation of self-pitying. but well, i decided to let go. and talking to Simon n Lichu cheered me up. Simon is funny where Lichu gave me some hope.

for e moment, i can only promise Simon that i will not try smoking THIS week. haha, for e future, i cannot guranttee.. hahaha, i feel like smoking n doping myself so much. i need drugs, i need ecstacy i think. FUCK, i shld just exercise some self control over myself

STOp those self pitying. i wana go dive, but i cant float or thread e water for 10mins, but i think i can swim like a drowning dog for 200m in a POOL, not in the open sea, so even if i am wiling to fork 1300 out for diving, i am unlikely to make it.

just hope uncle chee stop pangseh-ing me tmr n teach me go uphill. he is so inefficient. n e sky pls dun cry for me anymore, no amt of tears could do the work okay! ((: muack, just let me conplete my drivng course n i will be happy.

off for e yummy licious Ramly burger mom got for me! bye!

better!

2005-05-10T13:19:00.000+08:00

better!

ok, today chun n yun have their driving tests, bet they have passed. day started w a horrible wet whether, raining cats and dogs everywhere, resulting in me unable to buy my fav i wkly. awwww... cant read later! so so sad. cos i cant go giant. im definitely feeling better!! yeppie.. but cramps r still plagueing me.

me is falling sick soon. nononono, letme earn finish money den fall sick la okay!! ahaha, craps, laters!!

awful

2005-05-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

i just barked at my dad. haha, okay, i didnt mean it.
i am just so frustrated, nowadays i am short on my breadth, i dun feel gd or happy doing everything. aiya, maybe, perhaps, only to look at shuaiges will cheer me up a little, i mean, pretty stuffs raised spirits yea?

i duno, a lot of things have been on my shoulders these days, this new blog was meant to be a nice blog which blogs all HAPPY things only, but nevertheless, my life is so dull and consistent and grey tt it only consist of nth but unhappiness. it may be unfair to say so since i just bot 2 pairs of shoes today. wadeva, i think i am gona scrimp and save n not be a covetous person. who is not a covetous person? i am infact, an extremely materialistic person, i am poor but like to 打肿脸皮充胖子。

awful awful awful, shit man, i love my life in msia tt its simple and plain n i dun haf to worry tt i am in a bad state cos i seldom meet pp. okay, i shant grumble abt e state tt supports my past 4 yrs of education and brought me much pain and sadness, of course w true friendships as an side effect. howwever, i wonder how true is the true friendship. am i suppose be always the one making effort to sustain the relationship? okay, i know sometimes i am bitter, thus mentally unsound and may sound spiteful. it is for in nature tt i am born like this, i have tried hard to mend my ways but habits die hard. okay, i discovered tt i may inherit craziness and heart attacks and thus suffer a sufferable life and die a horrible and early death. but who cares since life is so torturous and tormenting?

i used to think that only education and some childlish actions will constitute my bitterness in life, in fact it is not. a lot of things that u may nv imagine will just happen in ur life. even more dramatic than in soap operas which pp criticise for their exaggeration. oh fuck. nothing would more describes my life, my state of mind and me now. FUCK. i realised if this continue, i may be on headlines. interprete it whatever way u like. i feel like a featherless bird locked up in cage and placed in antartica, unable to find food, alone, sees noone, cold and helpless. i think i am worse than that. i am in a midst of fights. the fight in middle earth in LOTR or the recent kingdom of heaven would be much more simplistic. this is torturous and tormentous.

things cannot be voiced out can be only a BURDEn, if only one day i could get his off my heart and shoulders and continue my carefree lifestyle, i live in fear, every day. u may not understand why i am living in such a state. u will never understand. i self pity yet i embraced myself cos i know in e end i will overcome and endure all these and be the optimistic realist tt i achieve to be.

i still got loads to say but this entry is so so sad, i shld stop my sobbing. i mean this is the only way i can voice sth out, my real thots and feelings. so sorry if i have made u read such a long entry for nothing. i mean, i seldom blog REAL feelings, its too personal, yet i have no choice.

okay crap

2005-05-06T13:58:00.000+08:00

left 2 mins then bell is gona ring, so this is gona be a short short post before i resume work. today i potocoppied stuffs from 10 to 1 o'clock okay. sians.... okay typing speed v slow now. bell rang. i will update laterrrrs... tired.. tired tired

in office

2005-05-05T15:32:00.000+08:00

quite long nv blog le huh. cos i have been lazyy. hehe, i have always been busy..... busy for duno wad, not studying also.......

went for archi test, wad i can say is that it is quite disastrous, they kinda tricked us. saw alot of nanyang gals, din know so many of em wana be architect also, plus fuhan also.. thank God i have deborah w me, if not i will be so soso alone.. haiz....

then they bluff us international students abt e interview, they say all international students will have interview that afternoon, but so many of us including PRCs, msians, indons, Viets, gather there but none are selected for interview cos we take GCE A levels in Singapore, they interview those who didnt la.. made me stayed back n ate Macs. hate it man.. i miss shushi.. if yt is rly gona treat, i wana sakae, i pay half lahhh. i m in love w shushi man.

haha, i am damn sian these days la, alot of things happened and also alot did not. i manage to learn driving twice tho during tho long hols, elder sis is back this wk. so we have one more pp at hm.. but she just sat in front e computer stagnant. argh, i wan shopping. my shoes are all gone case, heels spoilt tt day at archi interview, den my work shoes i.e. slippers spoilt today. so survuiving on yun's unwanted bata ugly cum dirty thongs. haha, but v comfortable.. ((: enuff said. cheers to every one!

in a jovial mood today! ((:

i hate dogs

2005-04-28T10:35:00.000+08:00

i hate dogssss! its a long story n i shant elaborate, just tt i met 2 dogs consecutively when i was walking to work, den this dog run after my car when i was driving. come to think of it, i had an unpleasant encounter with a dog when walking back home from tuition in sec 2 in the rain. argh, i was already desperate n he came to scare me. yuck.

yeah, alone in office again, leong pangsehh! blurheeee.. i got my new computer already. damndamn cool. but hor, no word y ahh?> we got windows XP home leh, n e person forgot to giv us e free webcam, den i cant connect to internet cos e plug in line there chaota!!! meaning kena lightning lehhh. i damn zadao lohhh. ok la, sian alrdy, break over.. byebye..

aiyo..

2005-04-26T21:36:00.000+08:00

aiyo, nth to blog abt. me arh, brought tarot cards. hehe.. i duno la, felt abitbit eerie liao le..

today me alone in office, haha, leong and chun not there, den tok to caren abt REDANG. den she got interested also, kept on bugging me abt e redang thingy. hehe n my senior editor kuilee is getting married.

den i was being toiled in office, looking ard for books. cheeeep labour. den i ran to n fro to main office n my office until e guard tink i xiaoxiao liao.. he kept on smiling wryly at me... den today ate mac's mix cone, its choc and vanilla lehh!!! hehe, spore dunhaf one.. yumyum.....

aiya, today driving uncle pangseh me again!!! he pangseh me yesterday also., duno rly wen i can finish learning driving liao..... kinda sien these days. boooo!

sunday

2005-04-25T15:36:00.000+08:00

aiyo, i am bored and so screwed. haiz.....
i duno wad is happening.. boohoo... i think ntu is great but i dun really like e pp who are gg to be my classmates okay.
yesterday went into singapore, then go for the hi-tea blahblah, impressed. thanks CHun for e lift, or rather thanks to her dad... hehe

then i met up with SHUQI!!! hehe, then we shopped shopped and shopped. so happy, thanks to qiqi who came out w me!!! haha... yup.we rly had a fun time, must catch up more!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then wad did i do? btw SUn's traffic home is damn fast yadayada, so had a fun journey also lahh. den i am currently playing a prank on kangwei, hope he'll reply me la.. boo, update laterrs... but i am bloody tired now lehhhh , bones r falling apart. hehe, n later learning driving. yadayada, canceled my tuition cos too tired.

next sat stil must prepare for Archi interview...haiz.. wish me gd lucks!!!!!!!!!!

i am sad

2005-04-22T18:41:00.000+08:00

SAD.. i duno why but i am just sad. i dun understand it at all

okay i got an offer for accountancy at SMU also. but i dunno, i wished they would say sth like 'ahha! u have got offer for a double degree too!' u get wad i mean?! haiz.. sigh.. but last para it says, "as an elite student of SMU, u have an option to take a double degree or another major from other schools....." it sounded general n i seriously wouldnt wana think wad it meant, tt means that i may not be gg SMU at all, cos i cant get any scholarships there and i have no accomodation.....

i am really luan luan, i feel just like quitting, okayy, i feel just like quitting my life not just my job. i am overwhelmed by many things, i am just to ambitious that i wana achieve more thann i can. Like i wana be e nice sweet lil' girl i everyone's eyes as well as i wan to be that evil devil also...

shit man, i miss dwelling in church, i think all this emptiness comes from it. i admit it. i have BACKSLIDED> so lazy that i never even read e bible already. but i have to say that i still pray and still believe in Him. but sth just happened recently strengthened my faith for Him, just hope that i will beat my own laziness and yahh, rejoice in Him. sometimes i just cant help it la... hehehe..

okayyy.. i am back from dinner feeling abit better. no inspiration to write. but DAMN, Rooney is voted by kids in england aged 9-13 i think to be their ideal next in line Prime Ministry if sth goes wrong w Blair. hahahahaha.. (((: so cute la he, a bit fat. but well, who says a soccer player dun haf brains??

none

2005-04-21T22:03:00.000+08:00

blogging just to blog

boooo.... im bored at hm. one day leave, today's e prophet's bdae. i rly rly love my blog now. thankew for meimei amy karboon yun ynay's tag! i wana keep this alive so keep on taggin me yahhh! ((:

as for accountancy, i am unsure whether i am going to accept it. i am under stress in making a decision. n i need to build a portfolio in 10days' time for the architecture interview. i hope i will impress em. i wouldnt want to deprive any others of their chance but i wouldnt want to deprive myself of a chance in confirming myself. i need to build my confidence i think. after being such a mundane person for MONTHS.

okay, i need sth to brighten up my dulldull life. hoping to go REDANG. n leong is going to redang this fri n sat so he is not coming for work. =S i so envy him, first go climb e Kluang mountain den now go redang. it is going to cost me $$ but i still wana take a break!!! n refresh myself, widen my horizon before i go back to skl. tho i cant wait to go back to skl.

haha, cant imagine i said that. but after reading karboon's blog i realised its so difficult to get 1st class honours. will i be a mugger then?? -___-" i hope so. if i can ever mug mug n mug. haha. i hope i can see and expect more from my future school. ((:

i misss yoouuuuu........ not exactly who but ALL.....

accoutnancy

2005-04-20T18:27:00.000+08:00

i got offer from ntu for ACCOUNTANCY
yay!!
hahahaha, i am so happieee.. yep ((:

integrated resort

2005-04-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

haha, as i have guessed, spore will fight w genting. dunworry GENTING, i will always be ther for you.. cos you deal w ringgit msia!!!! woohoo~~~~~~
hehehe, i got a letter from nus! for e aptitude test. but i haven got anything from smu nor ntu, at least i went smu for interview, pp haven all gotten their letters... worries
i liked e way karboon blogs, wana learn from her. hehes
ntuntuntuntu, where are you? where is your letter.......
when should i quit my job?? haiz.......

i got archi's interview!!!

2005-04-18T23:12:00.000+08:00

i got architecture NUS interview!
hehe, i love it and wish me luck!. found a long lost fren, love her lotsa! :)

this is true

2005-04-13T21:36:00.000+08:00

SMU has 9000 applicants but 1100 places
NUS 20000 applicants 6000 places
NTU 20000 applicants 4700 places. i hope i will get wad i wanted.

shits

2005-04-13T21:35:00.000+08:00

its on thursday

2005-04-13T20:52:00.000+08:00

my interview is on thursday leong just told me that tmr is 14th. haha, if not i will nv know. thank GOD. yep. im feeeling terrible. probably due to some occurances in office. ms GIam took halfday off den i slacked much, checking mails n such aha. yep, but that is not e pt. emmmm..... i seriously seriously hope that sth do happen n sth else do not happen.
n i wana quit but i wana earn enuff for my new phone. i want my N6680. hope i have enuff to buy em. not out yet in msia so i think e price will e sky when it comes out. wana wait for it to drop... =S
not gg KL, stay in JB cos taking no pay leave today. this mth nv do OT. how ar?? no money liao. my house fused. okay. some fuse fused. hahaa. den most of my place cant on lights. its so scarreyy when it occure, mum say she say the thunder stroke v near me. n it was BLOODY LOUD. i was so freaked out n my hse loomed into darkness. haiz. shits. gona live in e dark n my slacks r stil in wash, no electricity how?
haha, for ground floor only, first floor where i am has electricity which explain why i can blog. urgh.
i wana knoe mr timothy lim seng yen i think. he is 17 n is accepted into HARVARD, STANFORD, OXFORD. he chose stanford in e end, he haven complete his A levels stil. he got 800 for math n 750 for verbal in SAT. then he is track champ in his sch, plays violin, guitar n piano. such a brilliant guy. msian, knows french english malay blahblah, but no chinese. who cares. most imptly, HE IS CUTEEEEEEEEEE! hahahaha. Harvard only accept 2 msians per yr n he is not gg?! OMG, waste such a chance. then his father is a doc n scientist, mom a charteered accountant so he is LOADED. shit man. i WANT him. can anyone intro??
hahaha

to yun

2005-04-12T22:43:00.000+08:00

haha gal, i wanto go also, can i hitch a ride last min if i were to go?
anyway, i got this interview on SMU on fri 4pm, u reckon im gona make it?
haha, u din wake me up, im supposed to be awake too, no probs! n i wana go shop again la.
pimply face me now. argh!

SMU

2005-04-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

okay, there is this guy who sounded like EDWARD, my housemaster in Oldham Hall called me during work n tell me im down for an interview!! yay!!!! under e sch of ACCOUNTANCY. one step nearer to bcom an accountant. Well, i can take ACCA in JB, there is sunway, Crescendo and a bunch of other never-heard-of colleges offering that course. haha, n i think it will b cheaper than SMU. i may never go KL. haiz, sorry weixin, if u r reading this.

I hope i can get aptitude tests for NUS also, for architecture, *freaking out much.

and i realised that pp can be so cold-blooded. even as im so faraway from them, i can froze from wad i heard n feel abt them. well, it may be wrong. but it may be true too, there is always a basis for wadeva that is being said right? I hope I am wrong but somehow my heart tells mne otherwise, okay, im being self-deluded. Motive-ridden actions and vested interests are translated and interpreted by me into purely out-of-the-heart actions. which makes me puke now. how naive i was! no, hoe BLINDED i was.

im reading a book abt this Jap gurl. haha, her childhood, its pretty interesting n i have yet to find out wad it means by walking sedately. How can a girl and a dog walk sedately? tEL me pleaSSse.

for the sake of yun

2005-04-11T14:08:00.000+08:00

haha, i got shortlisted for interview for SMU! OMG!!
yeah, i know yun is bored at home so i decided to blog for you to read.
Im gona quit soon. THink im ill treated at my office.
i cant get back into the conference rm n my workload is huge!!!!!!!
horrible, n yet they pay me little.
so im gona quit.
hehe, im gona watch the pacifier. i wana watch LOTR 3. watched it, damned impressed! yaya!!!!!!
hohohohoho.
I broke my nail, horribly pain. had my menses. so yesterday was a day of bloo..
horrible. so i put off my plan of gg spore FILA warehse sale. pain!!!
my nail in a horrible state. blood wooze out. oh, its my toenail. horrible!!!!!
miss all. love da shopping yun!
busy watching tv, too many gd shows!
<3

im alone in office today

2005-04-01T13:46:00.000+08:00

hahahahaha, i am alone in office today.
cos leong n chun took leave.. :'(
but had sushi for lunch. wad an irony.
shuxin ate sushi for lunch
till laters. i wan a new blogskin!!!

good day

2005-03-31T20:48:00.000+08:00

i just posted sth .. -__- got deleted. anyway congrats yun for getting the A*STAR prestigious scholarship. im so envious! gg OXford or Wisconsin yahh, our lives were so intertwined. haha, finally separated our ways.. but will surely miss her!!!!!
my bowling game got 76 today!!! so happy, finally got a strike in my whole entire life.. :))) lolx.
i rly need a scholarship la,.. if not i can live even w tuition grant. msian ringgit is gg weak. damn chamz, n my parents paid alot for my sis education. my younger sis is next yr lehh. die liao..
haiz... hope i can be summoned for some interview.. hope so!

life is like a roller coaster

2005-03-29T22:48:00.000+08:00

life is like a roller coaster- literally.
ups n downs, having those horrible 360degrees turn, at infinite speed km/h..
haha, im changing my options for courses every now and then..
im fine!!!! okay, i want to visit all of u but i cant seem to find time on wkends.
i duno why..
im so fickle n lazyy, cant imagine that. hope everything in my life will be alright!
go away all the unhappy stuffs.
em, of cos i need Him now than ever. for His support.

sad irritated amazed

2005-03-27T22:16:00.000+08:00

sad at... ... somethg that is not worth mentioning. something that is a disgrace.
irritated at 2 someones who fought over stupid n unmentionable stuffs
amazed at the making of LOTR, tho i tink im not supposed to.

now i may sound like a country bumpkin, well, seriously thot that LOTR wasnt anything. but i had an eye-opener for LOTR at channel 5 tt day. aiyah. cant be bothered.

never blog for a long long time...

2005-03-26T13:44:00.000+08:00

it is rly dusty here... coughcough.. plus e bad sore throat i have
thankyou li ling a.k.a lalang for e comment. i never know anyone who visits me here.. hehe
kinda like a new undiscovered place cos i din advertise it much..
yep, im applied for all 3 unis in spore. plus trying to apply to msia uni.. for safety reasons.
cos i diedie want accountancy. sort of, nothing else arouses my interest..
i may be getting a new comp! a broadband!!
ok, happy good fri n easter sunday!
i was working on gd fri. i couldnt believe that. :'(
i be gg in spore one day.. maybe mon for my appraisal form. hope msKT will be inskll......
yep, that it..
shuxin

Work is so stressful

2005-03-08T00:35:00.000+08:00

as it says. Work is stressful now
Boss set a ban, no closing of doors n no eating during office hrs.
Just nice, could concentrate on work n doing OT. i must do back till *850!!!! yeaheyah...
jiayou shuxin ya... i will do it.. OTOT here i come.. everyday do OT. actually quite slack ah
Tioman trip with classmates. hopefullt it will be successful!
:)
shuxin

A level

2005-03-06T17:53:00.000+08:00

my results: AABC n B4
no hard feelings.. A for PHY n MATH
B for Bio n C for Chem. note the Alliteration.
hehe, felt sad n happy for a series of events around me
i duno y. i know i left my parents down but i guessed its alrdy my limit
i have nv been gd at Chem. wellwell.. let ms CHua down
i felt bad for being mean to someone. but..
i miss kangwei, miss kayying, weixin, yenling.. these few pp that i nv get to meet much at all..
n ziyih. n i miss life in spore . i miss e way i spend

but i bot two skirts that day n im feeling well to shop
just no companion for city square.
any takers?

uncertain of my future..
help me decorate my blog... im lazyyy

brand new start

2005-02-25T22:59:00.000+08:00

brand new start: 25/2/05

resolutions:
1)i will get my life away from XXX
2)study hard, no matter wad course i get into n get first class honours
3)work hard at work! no more comics
4)be thrifty.
5)be happy n a responsible family member!

for all